Without Pause

As tonight is my morning I shall sing a spelling hex onto those whose souls sprout oddities from their tongues. Quicken shovels that had ravaged the blood moon hit dirt by my hands gripped unto them times three as morning is my high noon. Never bargained with a silent slasher armed with badge and gun yet my sight beckons to end the stall of justice no one has yet to have been able to hold so close to the chest like ones first born breathing, catching ones first breath.Then high noon is my night and in it I balance my feet and fight with fist wrapped in sweet fruit for those to get a whiff of the kind of me that is coming fiercely to own something, so that I may give for free to all my brethren and that's the wisdom to know our freedom is stepping forward freely without pause, without pause... without

Unity Above All Else

Ascendant Of Human Being

My hand was grabbed, but I wasn't ready to go.
Shackles attached themselves to my ankles attempting to drag me away, but I wasn't ready to go.
Forceful winds came at me in an uproar, but I wasn't ready to go.
Shiny Sharpe steel came plunging into me while I slept, but I wasn't ready to go.
Frantic unsure memories sought to destroy me, but I wasn't ready to go.
Unwavering nightmares refused to let me wake, the dark void of loneliness crept in, silence befell those around me, fire infused my skin and I buried my hands in sand to release the pain that I could only feel, still I wasn't ready to go.

I am never willing to let go. I am forever flying. I am eternally alive.

Unity Above All Else

Spots

There's a spot on my brain where grass grows. There's a spot on the Earth where my body was birthed. There's a spot on the other side of the veil where my spirit lifts weights. There's a spot on my heart where my Ego aches. There's many holes on the Moon being filled by my tears which vex the Sun that glow in my eyes but are shutting from seeing too many spots.

Unity Above All Else

My Loneliness Writes

No matter how many times Im told I'm not alone, I feel more alone. The crickets and the tic tock of clocks are unhappy reminders every evening of how alone I truly am. Waves of decent gestures, big written notes of get wells and moments of time spliced into smiles and laughter shared with people who believe to love me make me feel more alone and I don't know how to shut off my mind. How do I shut off my true feelings of not wanting to blink or breath? I keep wishing to the Universe that when I go to sleep I don't wake up to see the next day filled with falsehood and unsolicited hellos. I am swamped in a world where I stare at walls and choke on hopes that my life would be better in some other form. It's very easy to tell someone that it will be okay rather than to prepare them for truth and that is life is unknown, the paths we walk we could have every bit of energy directed to a positive but torn completely towards another way in an instant. My instant came and I have no idea how to navigate in this. I don't know how I can keep up the facade that I want to be here living the way I am. We are taught that death is an end or possibly a beginning of something. We hang on to notions of damnation towards others who feel like I feel and that's simply just checking out so my energy can check into a new life. I'm unsure if it will be better than what I desire desperately to leave behind but I know pain, true internal emotional pain can't follow. I've held in the belief that my life is ruined, but really its just the idea of what I wanted and wished my life to be for 20 something years and a forceful reset has been pressed but not by my own hand. I think if I pressed it, it wouldn't be this way. I was totally faking it till I made it these past few months, but damn I am very tired. People keep saying have strength, have this to look towards or that... what the fuck? What the fuck! What the fuck! Nothing makes sense, we just keep faking it and making it appear to make sense of senselessness with no one taking responsibility. I honestly don't want to be here anymore and it doesn't scare me, however I am worried about those who are in my circle stomping on my ashes calling me names and being angry so know your fire prevents my candle from burning out, but I don't want to be here. I am as I have always been since I was a little, waiting for my death by external means so I can finally say goodbye.

I Found Myself

I found myself floating in someone else’s space

Breathing their air

I found myself walking in the other person’s shoes made of hemp

Breathing their air

I found myself speaking another’s speech

Breathing their air

I found myself smiling a man’s joy

Breathing his air

I found myself crying a woman’s sadness

Breathing her air

I finally opened my own eyes after sharing what we all share

I took my own breath

I breathed my own air

I walked my own path

I laughed my own joys and cried my own depression

I found myself

Darker Light

A weak seed planted itself within the enriching soil of its mother

Growth began yet death imprinted

Time halted or so it felt as she watched her belly form from womb to tomb

Ready to welcome smooth breathing and a piercing outcry

The God with a mask and rubber gloves scurried away with the mother’s precious star

The might of sun rose and fell upon the face of a thousand tears for several days

Then in final melancholic tunes from the once exalted God explained that though love was there it could not sustain

The cosmos spiraled and roared with ignorance of direction allowing another seed to be planted

The disenchanted hearts nourished and unconsciously imprinted perfection of which in their hearts a

mirror was erected towards death and rebirth

The new soul then flowed upward like a winding tree and soulitified with broken branches and scared bark

To be told through broken glass, broken bone, and whipped skin to have never been good enough,

smart enough, and straight enough to fulfill the missing welcome of his dead brother

Though however gloom he stood tall in the sun to everyone’s amazement yet the question was

continuously posed how?

After years of inner torment and outer self destruction the universe placed a hand upon him which

eased all suffering and opened his mind to a purpose in which no one could comprehend and so they

still pull and nudge towards him so they could find a satisfying response

A response in which shall never roll off his lips, a response that does not exist

Because he took his soul and cycled it through death and rebirth all on his own